If one benefit could be taken from the day's events, it was this. Christian was beginning to have a better grasp not only of what had happened to him, but also what was continuing to happen to him. Lilly seemed to think that his uncontrolled powers were the result of his spiritual strength being split between two realms. The possibility of being able to travel between the divided halves of himself during sleep also seemed promising. If he could communicate with the fragmented portion of his psyche, then it was also possible that that fragment could do the same. Christian dreaded what his slumber might bring, but a small bright hope flickered within him. He wondered more than ever what things he said in his sleep that terrified everyone so. Were they fragments of his attempted dialogues with the Veiled Lady, or something else entirely?
Lilly had promised to teach him what she knew, if he would keep her presence in Arcadia a secret from Emmerich and Samir. She was less concerned with the djinni, but Emmerich would undoubtedly see her as a hostile. Christian willing accepted these terms. Emmerich had seemed so reluctant to teach him anything useful that Christian was ready to be done with him. Lilly had also made him swear to stay away from the library for the time being. He had apparently damaged the structure between realms rather badly, and she needed an opportunity to repair it. Doing this without attracting attention was going to be a challenge, especially with Emmerich and Samir on high alert.
His determination to avoid Emmerich and Samir was almost immediately rendered meaningless. They were waiting for him at the student union, stationed where they had clear line of sight to all the possible entrances and exits. Turning and walking away was not a possibility, so Christian allowed himself to be cornered. Emmerich grabbed his jacket to shake him.
"What on earth did you do yesterday?" he demanded. "My granddad called me, it caused that big of a flare. My granddad! What half-assed, tricksy little stunt were you trying to pull?"
"If by 'stunt' you mean walking in front of the library and getting the god-king of all nosebleeds, then that's exactly the stunt I pulled." Christian felt too tired and weak to get a good angry going. "I was sick in bed most of last night and today. Now, please let go of me before I get sick all over you." Emmerich let go of him in stunned surprise. Christian felt his knees begin to buckle. Samir caught him before he could completely collapse. "I need to go get a coffee and a bite to eat. You're welcome to join me, but I will not tolerate your rudeness, Jaeger Emmerich."
"You found the missing part of your soul," Samir said very softly into Christian's ear as he helped him into the campus cafe, leaving Emmerich still standing in the spot where he had been chided. "Where is it?" Christian suppressed the urge to punch Samir in the face. Of course he would have seen something like that, and nice of him to keep it to himself, for whatever reason. Instead, he reined his temper and answered as politely as he could manage.
"A castle? Fortress? The Veiled Woman is keeping it captive or safe. Maybe a bit of both?" Christian kept his voice incredibly low, hoping Samir's hearing was sharper than an average human's. The tightening of Samir's fingers around his wrist confirmed this.
"Say nothing else about this at this moment," Samir cautioned in the same undertone. Aloud, he asked cheerfully: "Would you care for a sandwich? It's my treat, of course."
"Yes, thank you," Christian said with emphasis. He found a seat and settled his head against the wall. Emmerich came in and joined him, ears and throat a blazing shade of red. They sat in tense silence. Christian felt strangely calm, waiting to see from which angle he would approach. The discovery of his unknown peril had made him indifferent to anything Emmerich might try to do to him. He wasn't sure what Samir was playing at, except that he knew that every single story he had ever heard or read suggested than a djinni would put his own self-interests first.
"My granddad thinks you're dangerous," Emmerich said at last. Christian kept his expression neutral. "You've come at this backwards and unready, and he thinks that you might do serious harm unless I actively seek to stop you." He would not meet Christian's gaze. "No one knows how to contain a true wizard or his power. Even banishment from this realm is a temporary solution at best. That's what my granddad wants. He wants to banish you to the farthest reaches of all the worlds, so you can do your damage there."
"Then do it," Christian snapped. "Quit skirting it and just banish me already. And then you can explain to my parents and June and Oliver what you've done and why." Invoking his sister and brother strengthened him. It was most likely his imagination, exhausted and worn to a frayed mess, but it felt like pinpricks in his tattoos, the ones for June and Oliver. Lend me strength, he prayed. "Banish me, send me to the end of time, I don't give a damn. I won't be the one who will be answering to Sebastian and Rei. I'll be done with the whole damned business, until I make my way back here, and then you had better hope that I've not been driven into becoming a vindictive, bitter madman who is ready to tear the whole thing down."
"Hey now!" Emmerich held his hands up, a gesture of placation if ever there had been one. "My granddad wants to banish you, but I don't!" He shifted closer to Christian, still not quite meeting his eyes. "I've told him that you have too many people you care about here, and that you're not one to let power corrupt you. Samir backed me up on this. He has a lot of faith in you."
"My ears are tingling," Samir said, setting a coffee and a sandwich down in front of Christian. "So, did Emmerich come clean at last? About what his grandfather wants?" He gave a devilish smile. "I told you, Em. He's not going to burn you to a cinder."
"Why would I burn you to a cinder?" Christian asked, confused. Samir laughed, even as Emmerich turned an interesting combination of pale, green, and flushed.
"Because you could, if you so desired," Samir told him. "If you wanted him dead, you could kill him and banish his spirit to the abyss for all eternity, until you fancied to let it out again. Even raw and ignorant, you could destroy the world." Emmerich started to protest, but Samir stopped him. "He has a right to know that which he is capable of doing. Way-walkers, wizards, they are a rare breed, and you can use your power for the greater good, or for evil, or for whatever you wished. Now, my instinct is that you are a deeply lawful and good person at your very core. Your rules and structure may not be that of society's, but I would guess that it is highly reasoned and logical, and certainly tempered by your kindly soul. I don't think we have as much to fear as Emmerich's grandfather thinks we do, but he does remember the world on the brink of evil, and the lengths they were willing to go to seize even a fragment of the power you have at your fingertips."
No wonder Emmerich didn't want to teach him anything. The power to unmake reality, to bend the minds and wills of others to his, already flowing through his veins. The constant humility of the Veiled Queen in his presence made a lot more sense now. She was terrified. Emmerich was terrified. He remembered the looks Rei and Sebastian had exchanged, once they had known. Fear. They were all frightened of him, of what he could do. What he might do in his half-state, it was still enough to cause them to fear him. Whole, it was unimaginable what he might be able to do, what the limits of his power might be.
"I don't want it," Christian said after a minute. "I'd undo it all if I could. I don't want the power, or the immortal life, or any of this. I'd give anything to be just myself again. Weak, perhaps, and frail certainly, but I would take it in a heartbeat."
"That makes you a worthy caretaker for this power then," Emmerich replied. "You won't abuse it to cure every ill, to punish the wicked and reward the good. You'll wield it wisely and sparingly, and with mercy." He breathed a sigh of relief. "I will keep my granddad off your back, then."
"And I won't blast you to the abyss, then," Christian said in way of a truce.
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